Sharing Pain and Grief

On a side-note, my mouth still hurts, but it was after a pain-filled night that suddenly I've got this inspiration to contribute here. Let's hope it's coherent with so many running thoughts in my mind.

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I remember a point of time in my life when I asked myself inevitably,

"Does God ever grief?"

Or rather, the evolved form now of that question goes this way,

"Does God grief the way I do when I lose someone I love?"

I remember this quote from Lit class during JC, quoting from Shakespeare (Macbeth, if anyone is interested to know):

"Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak; Whispers the o're-fraught heart, and bids it break."

Basically it meant that if we keep our grievances unshared, the heart will eventually die. (For an etymology of that quote, you would want to ask me in person...)

It is a vicious cycle too, the pain forces us to find a desperate solution, which will lead to regret, or worst, failure which will force us deeper; making it even harder to come out of it.

I've learnt over the last few years in church that nobody is ever immune to grief - and in fact the more immune to it the person seems, the more affected the person is.

So what is the key element here to ease the pain for us believers?

I'd say to pray and at the same time, share it with fellow believers.

Be it a loss of someone, a failed attempt at doing something, a miscalculation that's causing problems now, or just a mis-step and a busted toe, the cell group is a great place to share - be it with fellow cell group members or just to the cell group leader. (At least in the cell group, you know the leader/members well enough - I really hope.)

Especially with the fervent praying culture of the church - there is no doubt in the prayerful-ness of each other to keep each other in prayer.

Let all anxieties free when you share - you're supposed to feel better that someone knows what's going on in your life - and be able to pray and look out for you in any circumstances.

Sometimes our inhibitions (e.g. the person won't understand, I'm bothering the CGL) get in the way and we end up running up and down in our little small, confined spaces feeling worst.

Remember too, there is power in agreement - especially in prayer.

I remember contributing to a (now defunct) local Christian community site and I'm amazed in wonderment the testimonies people share about coming out of their problems - and most of the did the right thing to share it and have a positive attitude towards it. They prayed (and us contributors and moderators too) and worked towards getting out of the vicious cycle.

So I encourage everybody to be as open, and face your problems with fellow brethrens of the faith; keeping a positive attitude towards and also pray for guidance to deal with it.

Derrick

P.S. Positive attitude =X= sitting around and believing that God will automatically clear the problem for you. There is still work to be done. This is not a Billy Joel song. Going "And so it goes," isn't any form of defense.

Being Teachable

Being teachable is so important. If you don't think you have a problem, nobody can teach you a thing. The only reason why we learn from someone is because we believe that someone knows something that we don't. And so many people don't learn anything after a long period of time, not because of the teacher, but that heart that won't receive.

Of course in the Kingdom of God it's the same way. Pastor said this to us one day, "Sometimes I meet people (who carry a wrong attitude/did something wrong/can do things in a better way) and I correct them, but they don't want to listen. After once, after twice, if he still doesn't listen, I let him be." Even my wise fiancee, Joyce said something to me, "I'll just talk to the person once, if he doesn't want to listen, I won't bother about him."

We can't be helped if we don't want to listen!

Many years ago, My leader taught me something which I felt I didn't agree with, so I stated my point of view I learnt from another person, (obviously in hindsight, my point of view was actually wrong). I was persistent to prove to my leader that I'm right and he was wrong. My leader was so heart broken, in the end he gave me a choice, "Did that guy preach to you every week, did that guy visit you when you were backsliding, did that guy give you bible study, did that guy counsel you when you have a problem? If yes then you follow his advice."

That shook me, because I knew in my heart, it was my leader who was doing all these things, and not "that guy". My leader drew the line, and I knew I had to make a choice to be his side or not. Of course I followed my leader. And in the end, that guy was exposed to be in the wrong. Thank God for good leaders.

I realised that our leaders voice have some kind of weight and anointing. It's like, somehow God will back them up. Like how my leader accurately prophesied over my O level and A level results accurately twice. It was like, even casual advices seem to work. Eg. like the bible says, how Samuel's words never fall to the ground.

But what if my teacher is in the wrong, what if he teaches false doctrine! Shall I still be teachable and learn? Of course not, but I made it a point never to correct them, even in public. As the saying goes, "Correction from above is just, but correction from below is rebellion." I believe in the hand of God, if a teacher is in error, God will judge him accordingly. (In fact, bible says in the day of judgement, teachers will be judged more severely than normal Christians.) Most of the leaders in the Christian world today, when they are in error, somehow God will remove them from office, so there's no need for us to worry.

Therefore, we should all aim to be great disciples to our disciplers. Pray for your pastors everyday because they pray for you!

Kelvin Guo

Unity is power

Some good news!!! Today, a Poly friend, Huiwen slide back to church! Ten years ago, she was from city harvest and due to over-dryness in her spiritual life. . . she backslided.

However, recently she was being touched by pastor kong's word last week and decided to dedicate her life back to Jesus! Praise the Lord! God really do miracles in peoples lives. . .

Today, Andy(another mentor I have from another church) and I met her up and encourage her and reaffirm her faith for her. I think what we did is very important and is actually initiatied by andy. She told us she was glad that we came and speak to her and teach her how to get back on track with God. She told me she was neglected in her past cellgrps and also when she was back with God, no one called her.

I suddenly felt that our cellgrp also face similar problems. Often when we have new friends or friends that just joined, I realised that I did not have the heart to be all out for them and support them! Often neglected them. Even towards one another, did we really show concern to one another every now and then? Such as calling one another up and ask how are we doing?

Personally, I don't do it often so I am also part of this weakest link. I know our dearest cellgrp leader did. .. he sms me last week and asked me how is my work going? I felt so glad that someone is there to ask how am I. When you receive such greetings won't you pleased too? Why not let us do show more concern to one another especially to our newcomers and old newcomers like Jason, Samuel and even Claudia.

Unity is Power! Our cellgrp really must be bonded as a living cell in the body of Christ if not our cellgrp will never grow. . . This is our weakest point i personally feel.

After the impartation of our knowledge to huiwen. . . she felt so blessed and was so on fire for God! I am pleased to see another of my close friends being on fire! It really adds oil to my existing fire for God! I felt so motivated and happy! If all of us help one another adding oil to one another spiritually or even mentally. . . .I believe all things will be added to you in 100fold!

By the way, she might be joining our cellgrp. So let us pray for her to be a strong and on fire christian. Last but not least, let us stand together and really encourage one another and be more sensitive to our fellow cellgrp members and meeting one another's needs.

Regards,
Gavin Goh

Climbing The Mountain Of Life

"Climbing The Mountain Of Life" Article by Asher Aw

I was just having dinner with a long time buddy, Jeremy, and we were on the topic of being a Christian when a particular thought crossed my mind… I asked him: “What are the significant moments in your life that kept you going on as a Christian?”

To my surprise, he said “I’m not too sure”.

I proceeded to ask him about it because getting through life, I personally believe that certain memories and events in our life form who we are, what we believe in and how we live – so it was rather surprising to know my buddy was not sure what kept him going.

To describe it in another fashion, I related to him how life is like climbing a mountain. As you get higher, you “mark” yourself climbing up… mountain climbers would take a stake and “impale” it into the solid rock/ice surface – creating an anchor.

They then latch their ropes onto that anchor and keep going. In the event they fall/slip, these anchors would hold them and secure them from falling.

So, it came as a bit of a surprise that my friend here apparently did not create his anchors for his Christian life. But as we talked, I discovered that he – unlike me – had created his anchors in movable terrain. He created anchors in people.

Interesting.

For a person like me, I am who I am today because of the events in my life that I remember, of the information I learned from people/books/circumstances. That’s what kept me going on climbing my personal mountain. If I were to slip, my memories and my knowledge which have anchored me, would keep me safe and falling to doom.

For Jeremy, it was the people whom he has met in life who were always there for him. Believing in him and persisting with him despite knowing his flaws.

So, if he were to fall… he would rely on his “anchors” of people – though it moves… it also grows.

For me, if I were to fall… I would rely on my memories of knowledge and events – not so much on people.

How about you? What are YOUR anchors in life?

During difficult times

Majority of us face difficult times at least once in our lifetime. Interestingly, some people handle the situations with great optimism, and yet there are others who are engulfed by the magnitude of their problems. The bible says in Matthew 11:28, “ Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” The phrase “Come to Me” struck me hard. I realised that it is only when we come before God and we lift up our burdens and difficulties to Him that we truly trust God for ways to handle them. Although this action should come naturally, many of us tend to rely on our own strength and knowledge. This tendency is dangerous because we risk living our own lives independently of God.
I believe there are reasons why we get weary when we are in difficult situations.
1. Our faith in God is not strong enough. The bible promises us that “whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” We must first not have doubts in our hearts that our problems cannot be solved. All it takes is time and strong faith. We must hold steadfast to this promise and not lose heart.

2. When we lean on our own strength, we become worn out. (I must admit I have the tendency to do so sometimes.) Perhaps this is why this verse is so relevant to me, and maybe to some of you. Let us really check if we have been too reliant on ourselves.

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.”

It says that God shall direct our paths when we learn to lean on God and not depend on ourselves. This means we will be guided and be led out of the dark times that we go through, if we only trust in the Lord! Therefore, I encourage all of you to find the answers and solutions that we need by seeking God and praying fervently.

Our strength is limited, but with God’s strength, we can become conquerors and emerge victorious at the end of the day! =)

-Eunice

yay!! its the first time i can post on this blog or any blog for that matter-mostly because of time constrains. Speaking about time, i can clearly remember something Jeremy said. Time is life. That is very true in my opinion. time is so important in our modern day life. there are many quotes from people from various fields.here's an example:
"if you love life, do not squander time, for that's the stuff time is made up of."-Benjamin Franklin(one of the founding fathers of America)
Time can make or break. our church has lasted through the past 20 years. we have lasted through the time. time MADE us stronger. time can also kill. I'm sure i don't have to elaborate on this. relationships and other stuff can be killed by time. therefore, time IS life.
"if u do not treasure a person, you will not treasure his time."-Jeremy.
There is this teacher in my school, by the name of Mr Kwok Weng Yee Paul. He is a naggy, teacher who tells stories. motivational stories. however, i learnt a lot from a simple illustration he made. this is something he said. a study carried out by some university classified countries into two types. countries that run on CLOCK time, and countries that run on EVENT time. countries that run on clock time dictate their lives on the clock.they have accurate readings on clocks in their banks. their people are always on time, be it for work or for an appointment. countries that run on event time dictate their schedule by events around them. For example, they can be late because of traffic jam that happened or being held up by something. their clocks in banks, hotels or airports are not accurate. guess what this study shown. countries that run on clock time are relatively more successful. an example is japan. while countries that run on event time are less successful. an example is Indonesia(on offense if you are in any way affected by this).
this proved that time is so important in our lives today.
lets be more conscious of the time and life of others!!!
-renyang

Spiritual Milestones

I lost count of how many times I cried during our CHC 20th anniversary last week. 20 years is a long time, thankful that I'm still here by the grace of God.

I still can remember the first time I came to church. I didn't even know it was church, my friend told me it was a "Youth Festival" so I thought it was a national day thingy for youths. I was 16 then.

Waiting at KFC opposite the old hollywood theatre, I stopped eating my food and pointed to the building and said, "woah, so many people queuing up ah. How come?". My friend just smiled and said, "Ya, later we will be inside."

Didn't understand anything I sang during praise and worship. "How come got lamb, die, lion, whats all this?" And when everybody prayed in tongues, I thought to myself, "Cheam man, I think they praying in foreign language I didn't learn".

I still remember the first sermon I heard from Pastor Kong. It's called, "Crossing the line to the other side." I was so impacted. I was hesitating all week whether or not to cut a short funky hairstyle. After the sermon, I just did it.

It's a personal spiritual milestone. My first stone. Subsequently, my first tongue, my first bible study, my first tithe, my first friend to church, my first year in church. All these are spiritual milestones.

Josh 4:5-6
And Joshua said to them: "Cross over before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of tribes of the children of Israel, that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, 'WHAT DO THESE STONES MEAN TO YOU?'"

God forbid that I should ever forget these stones, or that I should be complacent and stop placing stones in my life. Pastor says that we have not arrived yet, it is still a journey. May God continue to place landmarks in my life in the next 20 years. Amen.